This spring, my brother-in-law took over the mowing around my grandmother’s place. One day he kindly cleared the weeds near my pumpkin patch too — but along with the weeds, he cut down three or four of my pumpkin plants.
My first thought was, “I wish he’d said something first.” But then I caught myself. He had no way of knowing which plants were mine. If anyone was at fault, it was me — for not marking them. The moment I let go of that small resentment, I could see it plainly. So next time, I’ll set stakes around the pumpkins.
Most of our failures, a Japanese thinker once said, come down to a single cause: the self.
Mokichi Okada (1882–1955) — a writer on health, farming, and the art of living — put it simply. Of all the things that trip us up in life, none is more dangerous than ware: the pushy, self-centered “I” that insists on having its way.
What Okada Learned
Years earlier, Okada came across a saying that stayed with him: Even a god once failed through the self — so nothing is more to be feared than the self. Alongside it was another line: You must have a self, yet must not let it rule — best of all is to have a self and not put it forward.
He found this a remarkably clear picture of how the self actually works. It made him reflect deeply on his own conduct.
Why Being Honest and Yielding Works
Okada noticed a pattern. The people who listened to his advice openly, without resistance, tended to do well. Those with a strong, stubborn self often struggled — and watching them stumble, again and again, was painful to see.
His conclusion was plain. Three things, he said, sit at the heart of a sound inner life: not pushing the self forward, staying honest, and telling no lies.
A Small Test in a Pumpkin Patch
It sounds abstract until it happens to you. Someone cuts down your plants; the self rises up, ready to blame. But set it aside for a moment, ask what your own part was, and the whole situation looks different. That, in ordinary form, is what Okada was pointing to.
Read the Original
This is a short introduction. The full text — written by Okada in Japanese in 1950 — is available on meshiya.jp.
👉 我を去れ（meshiya.jp）
